Need sex. Gaining weight.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Randomize
