I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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