I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Randomize
