im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
How does one acquire holy water?
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
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