I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
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Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
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I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
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