So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
