It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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