even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Randomize
