Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Randomize
