): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
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