dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
