I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
