I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Randomize