I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
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