Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
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He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
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I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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