He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
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