end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Randomize
