What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Randomize
