Say something about gay babies.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
Randomize
