Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
Randomize
