I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Randomize
