she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
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