didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize