So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Randomize
