They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Randomize
