How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Randomize