im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
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