am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
