So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Randomize
