Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Randomize
