i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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