And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
There are leaves in my underwear?
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