Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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