her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
I licked your asshole in confidence.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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