Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
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