weddingsv make me drug and hornr
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
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