@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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