Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
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