do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
