Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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