Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
Randomize