i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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