I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Randomize
