HIV tests are more positive than that guy
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
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