apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
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