Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
Can't talk, ducks in the car
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Randomize
