its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Randomize
