My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
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