I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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