I think i sorta joined a cult last night
I smell stomach acid.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Randomize
