I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
