i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
