stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
