can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
