how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Randomize
