your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
