Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Randomize